hottest song in the ROK

i know you guys rely heavily on me to update you on the hottest musicians in Korea, here they be... Wonder Girls.

new boss

my fellow Americans. everyone now knows we have a new president, a melting pot president. well spoken, edumacated, baller. even my "conservative" friends like him and voted for him. though he has made history, I think the press is talking about his race too much. in my opinion, the faster we stop concentrating that he's part black, the better we can focus on real issues. real issues like passing my new bill into law of clown genocide and my tax refund sent to me in ice cream gift certificates. I'd also like to put my name in the hat for his cabinet. I am immune to lobbyists, powerful senate leaders, judges, and good looks. I've been training daily every morning looking in the mirror.

I'll be praying that the new president leads our country in a Godly way even if it displeases the majority of our nation. afterall, he will need to answer to God and only God... not Americans.

what the heck?

what happened to in-n-out? I don't remember them skimping out on grilled onions. am I wrong or did they used to grill a slab of onions and put it in my burger? I found little chopped up bits of onions swimming in my melted cheese. good news is that's the only bad news I have from my long trip to the states. maybe I will have more to complain about after I start the nerd conference.

life in the military...

... where has the gov't sent my favorite mexican and laser-eyed white man?

mobile info center

to the old people in Korea i've turned into a mobile information center. almost every time i go up to 서울 i get asked directions. 50% of the time i answer them right all the time. i don't know why they ask me. is it the Michigan gear i'm wearing that tells others that i'm highly educated with a great sense of fashion? perhaps it's my stunning well-learned look combined with natural aromatic pleasure?

no news...

... is good news. in my case, it's wonderful news.

love letters

this 'joint' had love letters posted all over the place. anyone know what kind of establishment this is? tea house? coffee? close. it's actually a restaurant that serves japanese fast food. you cant really read the letters even at max resolution. anyone want to pay for my upgrade in dSLR?

youngin'

meet lil Z. the most independent and happy baby i've seen in my life. he will entertain himself mostly by just watching people. he'll only fuss when he is hungry just like the rest of the adults.

this concludes my photo posting of my trip back home. on to life back where i reside.

Austin

this is Austin. this photo is of when he was much younger. he wants to be the president of America and play football for the Ducks. sounds like a former president except that president was a Wolverine. he likes football, video games, tv, and is already a lady's man. 아이구...

J

Meet J, she likes to say "booo" when she hears my name. She likes baby dolls, ham, crackers, Blitz, and the Wolverines.

Kara

as promised, a photo of my journey. this is how most people react when i'm around. kids to adults, it's just a universal reaction. i know, it's a weird face to have when people are in awe of me. let me explain. due to my incredible awesomeness most people just don't know how to react. so they just end up being disgusted with themselves with their inability to show the proper reaction. this is my beautiful niece being really disgusted with herself for not knowing what to do in such awesome company. here's some regal advice: get on your knees, bow, say nothing, and don't make eye contact.

introducing Kara. she likes to sing and dance. she is such a girl. too bad i'm not around enough to man her up. she was the first one to fulfill my request of wanting a niece. wait... what i mean is that she is the product of the my request of wanting a niece. she's a happy kid. and i like to publicly publish that i helped her potty train. every time she sits on the potty and not soil her pants, she will owe me big time. you read this Kara?! you owe me!!!

this is my favorite photo of Kara. no Kara, you're funny looking!

farewell my fellow americans

for those who did not know, i've been in america for the past 2 weeks. i've enjoyed my stay but i must be off across the pond again. my apologies to those i didnt get to see while i was nearby but my mission of seeing the "new" members of the crew has been completed. all other things i did was just pleasant bonus. i'll be going back to tons of paperwork and a grip of people waiting to see me. those close to me know there's only one person that i really want to see when i get back home. if you guessed Phister you are wrong. ok ok, there's two people i really want to see. happy now Phister?!

expect a photo update in the next 2 weeks on my online photo album. if you dont know where that is shame on you for not checking often. at least bookmark the thing and pretend that you care. i'll only tell you where it is if you are my friend and you shoot me an email.

happy black day

i'm 24 hours late on this post for the korean time zone but...
Happy Black Day!
i won't be celebrating black day this year. but to my single friends and family, please enjoy your dark colored food.

tyranny of comment moderation

FREEDOM!!! on this blog site, there will be no immediate comment moderation. feel free to express yourself and enjoy the immediate satisfaction of your comment being published for all to see. i believe world wars and communism started with comment moderation so there will be no such thing on this blog. now enjoy... type away... all will rejoice...

not a clown

i am not a clown to entertain you. you want funny, you wait for it. no where on this thing says that this is a humor blog or that it's supposed to be funny. you want laughs? get a feather. this is a serious blog for serious people. this is life. life kept real. fo' sho' fo' life!

oregoning

i'm back
a bit weird to be back
the kids are cute
i miss my girl

NIPPON!

back from tsukuba, japan. the brainiest place in all of japan. i didnt realize how much i missed japan. the only thing i didnt miss is the high cost of living and small food portions. the entire 5 days i spent there, i was hungry. i was a chaperone for 25 high and middle school students. they were there for the regional science fair competition. our local school swept all top slots and placed many in the top 3. i am very proud of the little nerdy runts. it is good to be back on the ROK though. this country feels much more like home than japan.

sleepy...

one thing about the military i dont like is the 0330 wake up call to come into work, then do nothing for several hours. the good ol "hurry up and wait."

goodbye to another season

though it was mostly fake snow, crowded, and cold it was still a good snowboard season. i have to remind myself that nothing will be as great as the hakkoda mountains during the winter. i got couple more runs left in my board before i wax it. where should i take it? perhaps to mt bachelor or mt hood? sound off if you got suggestions.

the legend

she is a fast one. this is the only image to exist. this is her earring and some hair in focus.

i speak english good

so since i can't get paid to teach english, i've done the next best thing. i teach it for free. whoa... what? is that really the next best thing? wouldn't be like free food or a good firm handshake? so i'm volunteering to teach at a city hall where there are a lot of young professionals. and then teaching to our korean nat'l air force brothers/sisters. i'm always catching myself fixing my poor grammar, slang, and jive. i guess this is both good for me and the 'student.' these koreans are so fascinated with me speaking korean and english 'well.' the males want to befriend me through soju and makali. the ladies... well, let's just say 'no comment.'

sorry!

been busy. still busy.

새해복많이받으세요!

happy new year everyone! not chinese dudes. it's lunar new year. there are other people that celebrate the lunar new year other than the chinese.

third 100/100

yes ladies and gents, i have scored yet another 100/100 in karaoke. that's three times evaluated by supercomputer which is infinitely more accurate than any human judge and all three times i scored 100 of 100. i sang a solo this time so there is no doubt i am the greatest vocalist alive in modern times.

Korea, meet Yoohoo

so for the three of you that read this blog. i know you by name: Alice-n, Wolverine, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. i am now the posterboy for USFK. check your email if you dont know what i'm talking about. if it's not in your inbox, check your junk mail. the story has been broadcast on AFN Korea over and over. i've heard rumors that it was on the Pentagon channel which is global. i have not seen it at all on live tv, just the internet version i sent you guys.

things you did not see or hear in the aired interview:
my dance moves (throwin bows, the snake, robot, pop n lock)
flexing my pretend muscles
my weird exam and weirder exam vocabulary
high five-ing myself
shoutouts (Ivy/Dave, Austin/Kara/J/Z, kim il-jung)
my talk about killing and destroying stuff
pilots and jets
spinning in my chair
talking about eating dog meat with a patient
crossing my eye one at a time
my english and korean singing
my glasses, where'd they go?
all the laughing

if you do a little searching on the website i sent you guys, there is another story where i have a non-speaking appearance. look for the science symposium story.

my two 100 majesty of song

just like any scientific experiment, the results have to be repeated to make your conclusion solid. last night my singing skillz was judged by yet another super computer. my fellow countrymen (i use this word as a gender neutral word and for any country), i received another 100 out of 100 on my vocal performance by an advanced super computer purely invented and created to evaluate such mad skillz. this is my second 100 of 100 score and i've been evaluated twice. i am the second coming of pavarotti even before he passed away. i have a total of six witnesses that can attest to my musical prowess expressed through the majesty of song. they're all human and currently alive. recognize the skillz chumps.

3

the count is up to 3 people. i put up photos of my cute nephews and nieces in my office and the count is up to three people that asked, "so cute! are they your kids?"

maybe it's my slick way of getting the conversation going in telling them i'm single. and maybe they'll know a supermodel friend they want to hook me up with. sometimes i scare myself with my brilliant schemes. you disagree? think it's stupid? maybe even evil of me to use my nephews/nieces? let me remind you of my 1million dollar exam... all i need is one taker and i'm set. same thing here. then i will stick my hand in your face; palms outward, fingers together, with my nugget moving side to side, and say, "face." then do it again when i get married to a supermodel. no dude, a female supermodel. sheesh.

winter hike

it's been snowing off an on here so all of it just melts away... until recently. it is on day 2 of straight up thuggish snow. it is all melty on the road but everywhere else it is not. unfortunately bad weather does not slow down the crazy drivers. a definite increase in number of auto accidents. fortunately this crazy driver has been lucky to avoid wrecks.

i met this little asian snowman on my hike today. he is not sleeping, he just has slanty eyes and sports a fumanchu stache. he was a wise young snowman, just 2 days old he said. he showed me the way to candy mountain right before i punted him down the mountain.

tranformation

so my transformation to a real korean is almost complete. the last step is to learn the hot dance craze by the Wonder Girls. all the boys and girls know it. if i learn it i wont tell you. you'll why after you see this tutorial... Tell Me - Wonder Girls

and here's the real music video... Wonder Girls - Tell Me
FYI - they'll be in NYC soon.

seriously, i'm not gay.

Happy Merry New Year!

새해 복 많이 받으세요!

what's better than being crushed by fellow koreans and shooting hand held fireworks into the sky? you're right, a lot of things. so now you think you're already better than me? aw shucks, you're right. enjoy the new year everyone! God bless!