'top gun' vs 'airplane'

i was thinking about good aviation movies today. it didnt last long because there arent too many of them and even less of good ones. so my thoughts went to the best aviation movies ever... 'top gun' and 'airplane.' i've heard from many pilots that they wanted to be pilots (no, not naval aviators) ever since they saw the movie. when i saw that movie i had no desire to fly. but when i first saw the movie 'airplane' i had much desire to fly again. it just seemed fun even with fish poisoning and disco. i wonder if any pilots saw this movie as kids and said, "when i grow up, i'm going to be a pilot."

worst vacation ever

i actually had a lot of things planned to do this past week. it did not include being really sick for a week. totally ruined it. good news is that i'm finally feeling better minus the coughing. short post today because i'm gonna go back to healing.

i be illin

good song from run dmc.

not a great way to spend my week of vacation. i'm ill. i've got the summer cold. first time i can remember having a cold in the middle of summer. a summer that is consistently 90F and humid as the inside of a whale. i think of humidity when i think of jonah, dont you? oh excuse me bible police, big fish. i'm probably wrong on that too, arent i? it's one of those colds that is affecting one side of my face at a time. my left nostril is runny as well as my left eye is watery. then i bet it's going to switch over to my right side for 2 more days before i start feeling better. or maybe it's not a cold. maybe it's the first sign of neurological agent attack? special agent that affects one side of my face. bird flu? west niles? i'd hate to be stuck at home all week due to my illness. i need to get better and outta here.

no one that i know seem to know how to call to the states using a international cell phone card. if you have any information on how to do this, please let me know.

by the way, i was sorta forced to take vacation because i was about to lose some vacation days next month. and there's a visiting doc from a reserve unit that wanted to see patients. we didnt have room to have 3 of us there. turned out to be good timing. oh yeah, koolaid.

North Korea

so i traveled to north korea today. very cool trip because i got to learn the history of the DMZ and go places where civilians cant go. you can see photos from my journey on my photo album. due to security reasons i was only allowed to take photos in selected locations. things i saw: joint security area, third incursion tunnel, villages in the DMZ, 'propaganda city.' it was surreal. i haven't felt like this since i was on the great wall. i actually got to see a real north korean. and they watched us everywhere we went. the history of the DMZ is very fascinating. you can get a glimpse of it at wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Korean_Demilitarized_Zone).

plugged in

to all those who care. i am now plugged into the internet. i have updated photos where i usually update photos. if you dont know where, you better ask. along with cable internet i have cable tv. tons of tv stations i barely understand. i vow, right now, that i will understand 90% of it by the time i get outta here. i have plenty of time to learn.

i also passed the dumb driver license test. this country is probably the worst place to have a driver's license test. apparently they do have law that govern the roads. unfortunately no one obeys them. so what's the point of having a test?

going to the DMZ tomorrow. pretty excited. i'll have more photos up soon.

congrats to drew for becoming a fiend. harumph?!

i not gone

psych! i bet you guys thought i left already. that's what we, in the military, call 'no timeline.' takes years of training to learn that technique.

i had a blast today working with yutes. volunteered to be the timekeeper (not gatekeeper, as in ghostbusters) at lane 9 of a swim meet. all you competitive swimmers know what this means. if you dont let me describe the typical swimmer that came over to our lane. our lane 9 swimmers came in different sizes, ages, and gender. but they had one thing generally in common. they would swim from lane marker rope thing to the wall and back and forth. sorta like the game 'bricks' when you shoot the ball at the edge and the ball bounces crazily all the way up. crazy, but it goes to where you want. and even if i had given the kids a 10 second handicap, they'd still come in last. oh yes. they were the slow kids and not so great of swimmers ("hey you, i know you, i know you"). i still had much respect for them because i couldnt do what they could. i'd probably need rescuing in the middle of the lane from one of the fine looking lifeguards. i'm kidding. they're not fine looking and they were dudes. but there were fine looking people on the pool deck. and before you go 'dateline' on me, i was talking about the legal age ones. anyway, my favorite swimmers were the 10 and younger kids. they were so cute, especially the 6 year old group. that was the youngest group. i had fun talking to the yutes before they took the block. i'd pump them up, tell them a joke, and give them old asian man words of wisdom. and i even had five kids dedicate their race to me (we had 80 total events, each with multiple heats). yes, to me. not the other lane 9 timer or their family or friends or Jesus. to me. why? because the kids love the Yoohoo... well, three of them knew me already but two were complete strangers. my feeble immature mind can penetrate the adolescent shield and intermingle like one of their own.

foolish me, no sunscreen. friggin hot today too. i definitely look like mr crabs except with fantastically distinct tan lines.

except for wolverine, who got my SNL reference in this blog? anyone? anyone?

tdy

i'm going on tdy. that's temporary duty yonder. yes yonder. some crazy english thing that the military didn't ban when they had the chance. i just found that out 2 weeks ago. i wont say where or when i'm going. OPSEC. but if i was really concerned about OPSEC should i really be having a blog?

zoolander moment

i just had explained to a patient about her condition. i told her all the who, what, when, where, why and how. and then she fires back the question, "how did i get this?" the scene from zoolander sprung in my head. the line "but why male models?" kept repeating in my head. and i could not stop laughing. she laughed with me although i think she had no idea why. it was one of those pity laughs or infectious laughs. i know i've done that before... laughing but have no idea why. except this time i was on the other side. i knew why i was laughing but didnt have the nerve to tell her. so i explained the whole who, what , when, where, why and how again with a grin and scattered laughs throughout. like i always said. there are no stupid questions. just stupid people that ask questions.

familiar faces

i am starting to see familiar faces now that i've been in the service a bit longer. it's actually a lot cooler than i thought. i actually try to go to bases where my friends are, like this one. i love making new friends and meeting new people but there's something great about having friends that you have history with. i do miss my school friends a whole bunch so these military friends are a real blessing. i've also met up with high schoolers i used to volunteer with in japan. and to see them and spend time with them has been awesome... especially to see them grow physically and most of all, spiritually.



what? not entertaining enough? i'm not a damn clown you know. i'm not here to amuse you. so what if i get all serious like? fine fine. here's my favorite korean-american joke:

"what did the bread say when it hit the wall?"

"bbang!"

ask a korean (that speaks korean) to explain the joke if you're not part of the greastest race in the universe.

80's offering

so i was in chruch today. and for those who dont go to church there is music usually played during offering. and the music they played today was very entertaining. it was 80's electronic music. it was a synthesizer and drums. i couldnt help but to laugh when they started playing it. it was also very interesting to look around the congregation to see who else was 'enjoying' it. the congregation is about 50% white and 50% korean. and i'm not talking each individual is half-n-half. which would be pretty cool too, but would make me an outsider. i was watching smirks spread among the white people in the crowd. the yellow people seemed unphased by the odd choice in offering music. i really enjoyed it though. it made me want to do the robot.

red thumb

being stuck in the dorm, i have the bare minimum. all i have right now is two bags of clothes i brought with me on the plane and some food i bought at the korean and american grocery store. and i totally forgot to buy plastic plates and utensils. not once but fourice. i really have no excuse. i wish i was training so hard for the beijing olympics that i forgot. alright, how many of you had a mental image of me playing ping-pong just now? figgin racists. anyway, i bought some kimchee and had nothing to eat it with exept my fingers. so now my fingers are stained red and smells of kimchee... mostly garlicy. good thing i'm in my dorm or people will think i'm picking my nose. because i love the smell of garlic and i am constanly smelling my fingers. you chumps have a good evening. i'm off to do some archery and then do some calculus in my head. did i mention i'm good at both of them?

correction: grocery stores in korea are not called korean grocery stores. they're just grocery stores.

huzzah!!!

i just got notice today that i will be able to move off the base and live among the locals. what a good day today turned out to be.

mental docs

have you ever hung out with psychiatrists or clinical psychologists? i have. and let me tell you, it's kinda odd. i was just chilling at the psychologist's house and there was a slew of us there. i was watching him interact with his toddler son. the guy had his son figured out. sure it was simple reverse psychology, but was it really? or does he have the force? i also watch him interact with other people. he never asks closed ended questions. it's incredible. so i jump in and try to make him ask me a closed ended question. they guy was amazing. an open ended question after another. it would have been more amazing if i hadn't told him that i was trying to make him ask me a closed ended question. you think i was stupid? before you judge my stupidness, let me tell you something. you know the reverse psychology thing he was using on his son? i was using it on him to make him ask me a closed ended question by telling him that i was going to try to make him try to ask me a closed ended question. little did i know my plan was flawed from the beginning. yes, your stupid meter should be maxed out right now.

now the psychiatrist. the dude is just a nice guy. if he wasn't a white guy, with brown hair, didnt speak english, shorter, smoked, wore a suit, and drank soju every night you would think the guy was a korean. sometimes i get the vibe that he may be in clinic mode when he looks at you with his body language saying, "dude, i'm totally listening to every word you're saying." it was the skater shirt that added the "dude" to his body language. but really i dont think he's in clinic mode. that's just the way he is. i guess it's just habit? crap. what if i have habits that i've created in clinic that is seeping out into my real world? please dont tell me that i'm making funny faces and rolling my eyes when people cant decide between two choices... go-bots or transformers. IT'S ALWAYS TRANSFORMERS! (to make that last joke make sense, you will have to had an exam with me).

things that young boys should never see

i recently told my greatest surgical story to my new work buddies. they also live in my dorm, or do i live in theirs? i find it to be a very good ice breaker since it's quite amusing and i'm the only target of jokes after the story. but this surgical story has been forgotten for over twenty years. it was traumatic at the time when i was going through it and i guess that's why i never really remembered. i guess i now know how those war veterans feel. i'm joking, sheesh. their trauma is much more serious than mine, especially since i can laugh and joke about it. i dont know what caused me to remember again because nothing really triggered it. it was about 2 years ago when i was on the bus going to tokyo with a bus full of high schoolers when, all of a sudden, i remembered it. what? wait. i didn't mean it that... they asked... i'm not sick! you're sick! no, YOUR face is sick! your momma is sick!

if you wanna know the story, just ask me when you see me. or you can ask dr drew. he's the most recent recipient of the story and you'll never find him! muah ha ha ha.

change-o command-o

so i had to block out time from patient care to practice for a change of command ceremony. this, my friends, is a very small part of why i like doing what i'm doing. i get paid to practice this. all my schooling, the loans, the misery i went through to have the privelege to see patients... they make me practice standing and saluting. and dudes, i am not being sarcastic as you are accustomed to. i'm serious. i love doing things that require no brain power and then get paid. sure, i'm on salary but you know what i mean. i didn't even volunteer. i was, as they say, voluntold to do this. i get to practice again tomorrow morning and then the real ceremony. and then lunch, then teeth cleaning. do you ever catch yourself feeling your teeth in the exact same spot the dentist probes with your tongue? i do, all the time. must be annoying. have you ever had bloody gauze stuck up your nose while your teeth was being examined? i thought it was weird but who i am to judge their four years of dental school, at least a year in residency, and years of experience? have you ever had dental water streamed (i wrote streamed, not sprayed or splattered) at your crotch while bloody gauze was stuck up your nose? did i mention that the bloody gauze was bloody from blood from my mouth and not my nose? yes, from my mouth, all bloody, then stuck, then rammed up my nose hole. i'm just glad that dentist was not my proctologist. and no, i dont go to a proctologist. i was just saying... what? whatever! good grief!

janitor

the janitor lady that works where i work offered to find me a nice lady for me. i must look lonely and desperate because i've only said hello to her, nothing more. another thing i've noticed is that when the janitors go to and from work, they are very well dressed. i'm not implying that they're wearing suits or cocktail dresses, but they wear much better clothes than i would expect a janitor to wear... an american janitor that is. so what if i'm stereotyping? everyone does it! i bet you would think i was great at ping-pong if you saw me. whatever! you dont know me!